"All these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good." Doctrine and Covenants 122:7

Good Morning!! Well it is morning at least as I write this. I hope you all had a wonderful Valentine's Day! I hope you felt lots and lots and lots of love, and shared some in return. 

This last month has simply flown by for me. Another transfer is coming to a close this week and yet it feels like it has just barely begun. I hit the point a few weeks ago where I was halfway through my time as a missionary. As I have reflected on and thought about my time as a missionary so far I have come to realize a few things. 

The first will not come as a surprise to most reading this blog, and that is that missionary life is not easy. I think that I was as prepared as best as I could possibly have been (my father kept telling me that although it is wonderful and life changing, it is also tough, and to not romanticize it). When you make the choice to become a missionary you willingly give up a lot of things (personal life, school, boyfriends or girlfriends, comfortable beds, personal space, lazy Saturdays, and well…I digress). In accepting a mission call you promise to give yourself over to the work. However daunting this may sound I can promise you that your commitment brings too many blessings to count.

Second, serving a mission has changed my life. I can never mentally or spiritually go back to where I was before my mission. I have grown in so many ways. My heart and my mind have been expanded, and my testimony has grown by leaps and bounds.

Third, that however life affirming it has been so far, it occasionally magnifies the fact that if not for my service I would not experience some really tough trials (ones that seen from a current perspective I would rather do without). There is the temptation to take the attitude of, "I'm working hard, I'm giving up so much I shouldn't be having trials, this shouldn't be happening to me. Why oh why should I suffer in any way?" I know I sound a little whiney, but trials are very personal and I feel that I have had some difficult trials on my mission, and I know that I am not alone. Every missionary has trials they must deal with.

This brings me to my last epiphany. Just because we are serving the Lord it does not mean that we will be exempt from trials, because those are what teach us the lessons of life. In the January Ensign (thank you mom for sending it to me), there was a talk about enduring well to the end. There was a quote I particularly liked it says, "We should not expect the Lord to remove our challenges just because we promise Him that we will always be faithful if He does. Rather, we are to endure well, and then we will be blessed."  I have come to learn that as a missionary (or even a valiant member of Christ’s Church), as we are striving to give our all that is when we can learn the most from our trials. During our trials we tend to pray more earnestly, read the scriptures more intently, and hear the whisperings of the Holy Ghost more clearly. It's not that I am welcoming new unidentified trials, or that my attitude has completely changed, but because of my past growth from them I find that when the trials do come I try to look at them differently. Rather than plop down on my uncomfortable Korean floor (no comfy couches or slouchy chairs here), I try to assess my trial and try to find the lessons that might be learned from it. 

If nothing else, a year in the mission field has taught me that it is through our trials that we grow.  And it is through our trials that we come to appreciate what we have been given and recognize all that we have been blessed with. I can't recall where I found this, but as I was flipping through my planner I rediscovered a quote I had written down that says, "No one can ever stand before the Savior and suggest that too much is asked." 

I hope we will look at our trials as opportunities for growth. I pray that through your trials you will recognize all the blessings in your life. I know that if we will view our trials as opportunities to learn lessons, gain talents, and develop a more personal relationship with our Savior then we will emerge stronger, better, and more capable for whatever lies ahead. 

I love you all and I hope you have a wonderful week!

Sister Annie

"And thou has not feared them, and hast not sought thine own life, but hast sought my will, and to keep my commandments." Helaman 10:4

Before I begin I would just like to apologize for being basically the worst blogger ever (okay that is just a little hyperbole, but it reflects how I feel about it). I know it has been far too long and I wish I had a good reason, but I really don't. I just seem to get so busy, and the hour I have to write goes by far too fast. However, I promise I will try and be better. 

So many things have happened since I last wrote. I have a new companion who is adorable and I love her, although I miss my old companion terribly.  I also got voted off the island. Well, what I mean is that I was transferred off the beautiful island of Jeju, but it feels like I have been exiled. I loved that area so much, and I would be lying if I said that I wouldn’t mind if I had stayed there for the rest of my mission. If most of you in the US have never heard of Jeju you are not alone. However in this part of the world it is considered one of the most beautiful natural wonders in the world. In fact it is protected by the Natural World Heritage Sites. Honestly, for a little while after I got the call that I would be leaving I was upset. Of course I knew that I would eventually be transferred, but I effectively ignored it.  I thought "I love it here, things feel like they are progressing, I feel like I'm doing so much good here, so why do I have to leave?" As I read back these lines it sounds a little whiney and self-absorbed, and that is how I felt about it…a little whiney and self-absorbed.

This was on my mind as I was studying over the last few days (maybe a little bit longer). Trying to keep an open mind for personal inspiration I came to this realization; as a missionary you should have trust and confidence that you are exactly where the Lord wants you to be and with who the Lord wants you to be with. 

If it had been up to me I might have chosen to stay on Jeju for the rest of my mission. However, I need to trust that the Lord knows better. He knows exactly what I need to experience, who I need to meet, and where I need to go so that I can grow into the person that He wants me to become. As I thought on this further I realized that growing hurts. That's’ why we call it "growing pains". To grow one must go from a smaller state to a larger state, and it's neither easy nor painless. If I think of growing as building both my strength and stamina then I would choose that over what would be the result of not growing, which would be stagnation, or even decay. Even though I acknowledge that I want to grow it is still difficult to do the things that will take me in the right direction. In fact, it's been a little rough accepting that maybe this is where I need to be, but I know that if I can manage to align my will with God's then perhaps He will help me see why I am here. I think the real test of faith is that I may not know why until after the struggle has passed, it may even be many years before I understand exactly how this transfer will have affected me.

As I have pondered on these things, I do see that there have been times in the past that I did not want to change something because it would cause discomfort or require an extra effort on my part. However, experience has also proven to me that I have grown the most when I have pushed through those times with determination and resolve. This is what gives my faith hope. Sometimes growth is measured in inches and feet, sometimes it is measured in leaps and bounds, but it always measures a move forward and upward. I want to grow closer to my Savior and I want to continually progress, and it is usually the comfort of the familiar and the fear of the unknown that holds us back. So, as I end this today I am determined to embrace the changes around me, and seek to do His will without fear. As in all paths of change and growth,I know that through keeping His commandments I will come to learn the lessons He has planned for me. 

I love you all and I hope you had a wonderful New Year!!

Love, 

Sister Annie

Luke 2:14 "Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, goodwill toward men."

Merry Christmas everyone!! I cannot believe that this year is coming to an end and a new one is about to begin. It seems like just yesterday that my friend Ashley and I were celebrating New Years Eve dancing till almost dawn– and yet an entire year has passed. 

Christmas in Korea is literally foreign to me. For the first time in my life I am living somewhere where Christmas is not all consuming. Throughout my childhood I have been given some truly fantastic Christmases, (I'd like to add a very large thank you to my parents here for being so wonderful and creating a truly festive atmosphere in our home), the Christmas spirit has always been very strong in my life. As a missionary and being away from my family, especially in a country that is not predominately Christian, I have realized how much I adore the Christmas season. And I am missing it right now. I think the things that I miss the most are how it fosters a sense of togetherness, the way it opens opportunities for us to reflect on and remember the reason we are celebrating. I also miss the constant symbolism of the birth of our Savior Jesus Christ. 

Not spending the season in my “traditional” way has helped me think a little more about the true meaning of Christmas. Being a missionary has helped me recognize that it is a wonderful way to celebrate Christmas. While whining a little bit (okay maybe a bit more than a little bit), to my companion about how this Christmas just wasn't going to be the same without what I believed was the way to spend the holidays; she said something that made me pause and reassess how I viewed the days ahead. She said "For missionaries it's Christmas every day." Of course she is so right. Christmas is meant to celebrate the fact that Christ came into the world for us, that He loved us enough to be born in such lowly conditions, then live as a mortal man, and ultimately, and literally, lay down his own life for our salvation. That is why I am in Korea, to share this “Good News”. As a missionary I strive to remember this and to teach it every day, not just through my words, but through my actions too. So though my Christmas season might not be what I am used to (and if I am being honest, what I long for), I know it has the potential to be incredible. I know that as we all strive to remember Christ this Christmas we can make this year the best Christmas we've ever had. I add my testimony to others that are shared this Christmas–"Glory to God", for I know Jesus Christ is the literal Son of God on this earth, that he was born of a righteous virgin, and mortal woman, that he obeyed His fathers will and laid down His life for all mankind, and that through His atonement and resurrection I will be made whole and can live with my Father in Heaven again. I bear record of this through my testimony of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Love you all! 

Merry Christmas!

Sister Annie

"And there I will meet thee" Ether 1:42

Hello from my own little corner of the world. I apologize profusely for my lack of writing. Things have been a little crazy as of late and I just haven't found the time to write to you all. My great news of the week: Transfer calls came and went and our phone stayed blessedly silent. So... I get to stay on Jeju for another transfer! This also means that I have broken my streak of having my companion dump me every transfer. I'm so excited. 

Thanksgiving was of course this past week and I might have been the only one on this island who cared. However, all it takes is one enthusiastic celebrant, so it turned out pretty good. Since I was the sole missionary determined to suffer for food’s sake I cooked. I made us some stuffing and an apple pie in our little toaster oven. I may not have previously mentioned that Koreans do not bake as a general rule, so we do not have ovens. This has been the most difficult cultural practice that I have had to adapt to. Since my toaster oven could not fit a turkey we ordered some fried chicken. Anyway, I felt very festive, and it was a beautiful affair. 

As it has been a time to ponder all that I have to be thankful for, I have been thinking this past week about the many wonderful things in my life that I am grateful for. While I have been on my mission I have been daily thinking about the guidance I receive from my Father in Heaven and how much of a blessing that it is. 

It has been particularly evident on my mission that we need to look for inspiration and guidance from our Father in Heaven in order to receive it. In tuning my mind and soul to the whisperings of the Holy Ghost I have learned something a little better about how to recognize that guidance, and that is that it doesn't come without our work. Also, it doesn't always come at the beginning of the path; sometimes we have to walk a little bit in darkness before the light gets turned on. 

There is a wonderful quote by Elder Dallin H. Oaks about acting before guidance comes.  It says, "We will get promptings of the Spirit when we have done everything we can, when we are out in the sun working rather than sitting back in the shade praying for direction on the first step to take. Revelation comes when the children of God are on the move." (Ensign Aug. 2013)

There are many examples of this direction in the scriptures, but I found one in particular especially meaningful to me right now. In Ether, when the brother of Jared prays to receive guidance of where to go the Lord gives him specific directions of what to do and then instructs him, "And when thou hast done this thou shalt go at the head of them down into the valley which is northward. And there will I meet thee." Ether 1:42

The Lord gave him a task and then promised that after this had been done he would meet him. After the brother of Jared had done his part and worked on his own. Then he received the further help. 

If you are like me then sometimes when I am reading the scriptures I think “of course the Lord is instructing prophets, they are leading nations and peoples, but why would He care about my issues as they seem so insignificant”. I think one of the greatest opportunities that my mission has offered me is to travel. Traveling allows you to recognize how small you really are in a vast world. It shows you that your troubles are just a drop in God’s overflowing bucket of troubles–so many of which are proportionally greater than my own. If I can quote Oscar Hammerstein, “In my own little corner in my own little chair”, I know He still cares about mine. I have received comfort, knowledge beyond my own capacity, and inspiration to guide my daily life. This I cannot deny. And it testifies to me that even though I am a drop in an unfathomable pool of need I am recognized and loved as an individual. As I sit in “my own little corner” of the world He needs me to seek out my own personal inspiration, because this is the designated way that I can share my testimony of the Savior, and it is the way the message of Christ is spread–one drop at a time, to another drop, slowly filling the sea, and reaching every “little corner”, of someone else’s testimony.

It is through our struggles that our testimonies grow. However, in order for them to grow we have to build them, and in order to build them we have to seek instruction, and in order to seek instructions we have to study the scriptures and pray, and it is through searching for divine guidance that we recognize our blessings, and it is through recognizing our blessings that we become grateful, and it is through our gratitude that we share the message of the Savior and His love for us with others…in their “own little corner”. 

My greatest struggle, as I am sitting in my own little Korean chair, has been to learn the language. It has been a blessing that my companions have all been able to speak Korean fluently. I do not know what I would do if I had to navigate the language on my own. I have often thought about the Apostles who went to preach of Christ to what was considered the ends of the earth at that time. They went alone and without an interpreter. I have thought how powerful their desire must have been to spread the news that “He is not dead–but lives!” It puts into perspective the training and guidance I have received to prepare me to serve in a foreign land. One major bonus I have is a companion who speaks the native language. But if my companion were to take care of me all the time, speak for me, read for me, figure everything out for me, I would never learn the language for myself. I would never have to struggle to share my testimony, and I would never be required to meet the lord half-way there. When your words are limited it really makes you think of exactly what you want to say about the gospel. It forces you to define your testimony. This has been one of the unforeseen ways that my testimony has grown. This has helped not only in my personal progression, but it has strengthened my testimony of the Savior. It has shown me that when I do all that I am asked then the Lord will "meet me there" and fill in the gaps. It is the same in our lives. Sometimes God allows us to struggle and work on our own so that we can learn and grow. I also know that although we often feel like we are in our corner–facing the corner–in our chair–feeling a little punished, He will help us turn out and see that we are part of a room that encloses all of humanity, where each one is numbered and each of us is counted in His Kingdom ..."and there [He] will meet [us]". I am grateful for the scriptures and thankful for the opportunity to seek personal revelation, which guides and directs me in my daily life.

I love you all and hope that you recognize the love of your Savior in the small things. I wish you a wonderful holiday season!

Love, 

Sister Annie